Transgressing Desire

18 Jun

There are a million kinds of crushes. There’s the signature lust-crush, the frequent student/teacher intellectual-crush (here’s looking at you Willow), the humour crush- ensnared with the “if-we-date-I’ll-just-wet-my-pants” conundrum, the ridiculously incompatible-crush (who needs language, we can communicate with our eyes?), the pack mentality-celebrity crush, probably the easiest to develop, cause all you need to do is pick team Jacob or team Edward. The list goes on.

But who’s had a voice crush? It is certainly a far rarer beast; like falling for 2001: A Space Odyssey’s HAL. And I have one. On a lady even: Deborah Treisman, the fiction editor for the New Yorker, who chats with writers on the magazine’s fiction podcasts.

Deborah, you are a dream boat. Your dulcet tones are so soothing, so engaging. I listen to you when I go to sleep, Deborah, and think about sounding like you.

Deborah if I had to negotiate peace talks, I would want you there. Israel and Palestine? You’d barely break a sweat.

I bet, Deborah, that you could silence a barge of screaming babies reading anything- the ingredients of a Doritos packet, for example- and those things are made of some hard to pronounce stuff.

Do you promise, Debs, to do my book-on-tape, when the time comes? You might have a bit of a granny’s waver in your voice by then, but trust me, you’ll still sound babin’.

Can we do karaoke one night, Deborah? Or beat-poetry? I’ll play the bongos while you read ‘Howl’. I bet you know it by heart though, you literary figure you.

I should really google your name to check I’m spelling it right Deborah, but I just can’t; I’m afraid I’ll see your face…

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One Response to “Transgressing Desire”

  1. blackwatertown June 24, 2010 at 11:58 am #

    Voice crushes – I’ve had a few.
    The only one that comes to mind is Hermione Gilchrist who does (did?) a podcast called One Hour of Music in Twenty Minutes.
    There’s a blog about it http://www.1in20.blogspot.com/
    I’ve never met nor seen her. I haven’t even been to Australia.
    But her podcast was just lovely. So was her voice.

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